May I Speak Openly With You?
By Michael Q. Pink
February 17, 2010“If you continue in my word, then are you my disciples indeed; And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:31 – 32
I have moments. Moments that I wish for no one to know about. Moments that make me literally stagger. Moments that are indescribably difficult. Numbing. Impossible to anticipate. Exceedingly difficult to process, but yet I must. And I do. My soul is being waterboarded, but I will not give it what it wants. It wants out. It wants to run, to distract, to avoid, to hide, to bury itself in any kind of activity or distraction.
But God wants to heal my wounded soul and He invites my participation in the process. It makes things far easier when the patient getting operated on isn’t trying to get off the operating table. Know what I mean? Admittedly, this is more difficult than I could have ever imagined. The surgery is progressing nicely, but now the anesthetic is well worn off. Pain I didn’t anticipate from places I didn’t know I had, erupts at times and places I would rather it didn’t.
The Surgeon, however, is not concerned that the anesthetic has worn off. It’s like He planned it this way. I can literally see Him smiling at me, holding me to the table with just the love in His eyes. It’s a trust thing. I can get off the table and postpone the surgery, but more than I want out of pain, I want my destiny! I want to move into the Third Act of my life with strength and force. I have one life to live and I wish to live it well and I wish to live it now. I will not waste this precious gift of life He has given me by remaining a walking wounded. So here I lay on the operating table, fixing my eyes on Jesus, submitting to the process… a process I don’t understand, down a path I have never traveled. But I choose to trust…
Can I be transparent with you? The hardest thing I face every day is not the fact that Brenda is gone. I am at peace with that. She is gone, but she is happy and she is out of pain. I am truly happy for her. The hardest thing I face is not the absence of her, but rather the absence of simply being or feeling loved to the core, as I truly was. The deepest of all human needs I suspect is the need to be and to feel deeply loved. The absence of that is the source of my greatest pain.
I knew how to love and I was loved deeply in return. It works that way. I miss the gift of love in its myriad expressions. So in the dark hours of the predawn morning, I am asking God about this today. Know what He told me? He told me the truth… that I AM LOVED! I am loved more purely and deeply than I can imagine. THAT IS the Truth. As the knowledge of that flows over my wound, I can literally feel healing occurring in my soul! Make no mistake. I believe my destiny will be shared with a woman of like heart and like destiny. I am hardwired that way and I know it. But for today, I can see the new pink skin forming where the tearing took place and I know that healing is well underway. And I am at peace…
This is my story and I’m sticking with it! Love and peace to you all!!!
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In my church praise band, we play mostly contemporary Christian tunes, and occasionally jazz up the classics... we did Jesus Loves me this week.... check out the thrid verse....Jesus loves me still today, walking with me on the wayWanting as a friend to give, light and love to all who live---Yes, Jesus loves me, Yes, Jesus loves meYes, Jesus loves me---The Bible tells me soIt's really all we need to know... He lives and loves us in all of our faults, in all of our pain, in our joys, and in our sorrows... His love is unwavering, and we are all so blessed. His arms are open for us to accept His offer of love, and eternal life.
Tom at 10:12am EST - February 17, 2010
I admire your openess and realize you could only know and share the things you are , if God is showing them to you. I also believe you when you say that you realize this. I can only imagine where you are thru your sharing. But Jesus knows exactly.Keep on Keeping on, my brother in Christ. I know that I am one of many that is deeply blessed by what you share. Please pray for me.
Mike Eubanks at 10:16am EST - February 17, 2010
Comments: "I wish to live it well and I wish to live it now" You are living it now - it just isn't of your design or your desire. But hang on; the ride will be one you tell you grandkids about. "This is my story and I’m sticking with it!"IMy outlook is that this is God's story for you and that you have chosen to take it - good choice.Advice: Keeping fixing your eyes on Jesus, both on the operating table adn elsewhere, and you will expericene being loved again.
Gary Geppelt at 10:19am EST - February 17, 2010
Michael, I am amazed that in the midst of your pain, you're both willing and able to communicate such wisdom. You are blessing countless people. Thank you.
Steve Sappington at 10:20am EST - February 17, 2010
Perhaps no one has told you of the unusual effect your transparency has on us as fellow sufferers with you. Not having met, we yet love you as family. But, I know that is not the deep. near-agape love of a partner in life. Nor is it anywhere close to God's agape love for you. What God reveals to you though seems to permeate me--hopefully others too--with a breaking through to my spirit as nothing else has ever done before. Issues with forgiveness and anger melt away when I read your words. (And now, when I even recall the truth in them.) God has anointed your words with His tears too. They heal us as well. His Bride needs serious clean up... and He is using your heart for Him to work a work in us too. Why did He pick you? Perhaps because you said Yes deep in your heart to His invitation for true fellowship. And we have begun to see what we have been missing. More will follow.
Tia Nielsen at 10:28am EST - February 17, 2010
Michael, I am with you. Although, I have not experienced the loss of a spouse but I am going through a healing process as well. God spoke to me this morning requesting to write down per vadim (spelling?) the process that which I am going through now and share it with others. As you exemplified your emotional healing through a surgery mine is like a full load of filthy laundry going through the first wash cycle. The soaking, the agitating, the draining, the rinsing, the spinning, and all over again until cleansed. Oh I forgot, the dryer .... but that's another chapter. I am also numb to a point. I do have a 7 yr. old daughter of whom I have been blessed with. Besides the plans that God has for me she keeps me going. Through your daily posts, I am encouraged by your words. As humans we all tend to feel a void when we loose someone close to us, as I did when my mother passed away 17 yrs. ago. Although, it is different when it's a spouse but remember God is working behind the scenes on your behalf. Take those arms of His and continue to express His loving kindness and warmth as you have always done so eloquantly (spelling?). My wash cycle consists of marriage and finances. As for my business, I have gone through all the wash cycles and dryer and starting afresh - not easy. I admire your wit and perserverance. You will get through this. And when this phase has passed you will be stronger than before. Keep doing what you are destined to do and those dreams and plans will come to fruition.
Maria at 10:29am EST - February 17, 2010
God is love and true love comes only from Father God. Just know that He is the source of unconditional love.
Adjoa Tamakloe at 10:29am EST - February 17, 2010
Michael, you and I have never met. I have listened to your CDs and read your blog from time to time. Today I feel compelled to respond to your post. I cannot imagine what you are going through, I am fortunate to still share our home with my wife of 39 years. When I lost my mom and dad, I needed for friends to let me talk and cry and eventually the healing of God you speak about came. I just wanted to let you know we are listening, praying and standing with you as you get your healing. Thank you for sharing your true feelings and may God grant us the ability to listen with His ears. You are loved!
Bob at 10:30am EST - February 17, 2010
Dear Michael: I am sure that I am one of many who has not responded during your time of darkness. I have prayed for you. I prayed as you requested during Brenda's fight. I have prayed as she has gone to be with the Lord. You don't know me, but I love you. I am sure there are many more like me. Do not give in to your dispair. While we all enjoy the love of our heavenly Father, there are relatively few on this earth who enjoy the love and admiration that you do.Know that you are Blessed!
Bob Lloyd at 10:31am EST - February 17, 2010
Courage and submission. 2 traits you possess, and 2 traits God honors.God bless you Michael.Brian MassmanPastor, Tri-State Community Church
Brian Massman at 10:33am EST - February 17, 2010
Michael,I have never met you but saw you at a distance at the KEYS Conference in Denver. I am sorry that I did not get to even hear you speak. I want to tell you that your honest words have certainly blessed the Body of Christ and I trust will help others express their grief so openly. Grief must be expressed and I believe you have assisted the hurting to more freely share their hearts as you have. Keep blessing the church with your heart felt care and God will heal.Sue McMillin
Sue McMillin at 10:37am EST - February 17, 2010
I like your new pink skin! It suits you well!your sis,hIt's the kind of peace that surpasses any human understanding...HE is giving you glimpses of HIS glory... glimpses into the unseen things...you are loved deeply by the ONE WHO matters most...
Heidi at 10:41am EST - February 17, 2010
Can't believe what I just read... it accurately describes (if it can indeed be put into words) where my heart, mind, and life are at this time. I lost my husband of 35 years in March, 2009. How to begin again,.. how to move forward??... as Jesus beckons, so He enables. I will also trust Him and put one foot in front of the other.
Annie Campbell at 10:44am EST - February 17, 2010
Michael,I certainly know and understand your frustration and pain. My wife Lynn WON a five month battle with cancer only to lose a FIVE DAY war with pneumonia seven days later on November 3, 2009. As with Brenda, I know that she is without pain and suffering and has join her Mother and mine and are prabably in charge of food service and entertainment in Heaven. Lynn managed two of our divisions with grace and skill and our clients and associates are still in disbelief that she is gone.You and I have been called to important work and so while we will always have that hole in our hearts we know what God wishes us to do and that is to SERVE. If you ever need someone to talk with, cry with, scream at or just sit quietly with to review our blessing with...then I am here. I was blessed with my gift from God for almost 24 years. Our 24th wedding anniversary was eight days ago.
Dr. Bill Prouty at 10:47am EST - February 17, 2010
Hello Michael, blessings to you. I am not going through the same issues that you are, but I am quite sure that many people are dealing with any number of struggles just the same. I have found some understanding for my self from Ps. 85:10-14, 89:14-18, much peace, which is the foundation of our soul and also the armor that God has provided for us. I have learned that with out God's peace being made real to us, we try to live it out on our own strenght, which causes much more pain. I will say that I do not know all things, nor what it is that you are going through, but I do know as I mentioned before, is that we as a body of Christ are being developed into a mighty army of soliders to combat the works of darkness. With this, I can see that in and through your own testings, (Heb. 12:11) your peace that is coming will yield much fruit for the kingdom of God. This is a fact of His word, not mine. Donot let this be a put down, but an uplifting word for your loss. May His face shine upon you and may the grace and the love of the Most High God of all the the stars, the earth and nations be revealed to you. "Now, to Him who is able to do exceedingly abudantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be the glory by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." (Eph. 3:20-21)
Henry Newberry at 11:01am EST - February 17, 2010
AMEN and AMEN!!! Micheal... PINK is your color, the color of Love and GOD knows it!! Go for it!! Don't you dare change your story...I LOVE IT!! BTW...I've had a running joke with my girlfriends, that whenever we get too "macho" with the men in our lives, we have to 'think PINK!" so that the softness is allowed back in! HA!!
Vilma at 11:02am EST - February 17, 2010
Michael,I have not experienced any pain like you are experiencing and i don' t expect to because of my close and exclusive walk with God. As the song goes, "I dare not trust the sweetest frame but solely lean on Jesus' s name." Because our Father in heaven is a spirit and we are in the flesh on earth, with our five fleshy senses of sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell, he knows that we need a fleshy human being like us to be able to relate with and to mutually experience his love. That is why he sent Jesus to earth in human flesh. Even so, we also have the spirit of God living in us that God wants us to learn to walk in that spirit directly without depending on our fleshy senses. When Jesus' s flesh body departed earth he left his spirit to lead us into all truth saying , Lo, I am with you alway (in spirit), even unto the ends of the earth. Father God desires to open our spiritual senses, especially our spiritual eyes, so we can live in the spiritual realm to see the spirit his Son Jesus in every fleshy human being we meet and associate with, to see the mystery of Christ in you and in everyone, the hope of glory. Father God also desires for us to see his handiwork in nature as you did when you were in Colorado. You already sense and know this is how God is healing you. To God be the glory great things has done and is doing in your heart. David T.
David Thompson at 11:09am EST - February 17, 2010
Hey Michael, you have been and will continue to be our prayers. I was hoping to get a moment to sit with you at the Keys event, however I was only thier one day. When your up to it I would love to have come to Connecticut to speak to our business leaders. I have found some things time does not heal, instead we learn to live with them.
John Muratori at 11:14am EST - February 17, 2010
Michael, I experienced the pain that you are in in 1991 when my husband passed into Eternity. He was 45 and I was 43, we were married almost 24 years. I have never felt such utter loneliness, it didn't matter how many people were around the loneliness was there. Right now it is still very raw with you, but it does get better. I pray it will be a short time for you, but it is really necessary to have a time for grieving, that is part of the healing.
Carol Baker at 11:24am EST - February 17, 2010
"Michael, I love you just as much, and just the same, as I love my son, because I love all my children the same."Your Heavenly Papa
Deanne Day at 11:26am EST - February 17, 2010
As my eyes fill with emotion I can't help but to praise God for also loving me in that way.Thank you for sharing your life with us... Brenda continues to be a blessing in all our lives as you honor her in your postings.
Raquel at 11:28am EST - February 17, 2010
Michael, thank you so much for sharing in words what you feel in your spirit and heart. Grief is one of the hardest roads to walk. It is absolutely necessary for us as God's creatures, to realize that to love Him First and to continually feel HIs love in our hearts is the only way we can really live a victorious life here on earth. I've walked your road in 1979--89, and God IS the great Healer. I pray for you often. Read Isaiah 43, where he tells how we will not be drowned when we go through the waters, or burned when we go through the fire. God's promises are all true, and I know you will be holding on to them. I'm grateful that you have a loving supportive community around you. Even though it is not the same, it does help. Shalom, dorothy porter
Dorothy Porter at 11:32am EST - February 17, 2010
Michael, I am so grateful God brought you and your ministry across my path. Your words seem to always speak right to the heart of my circumstances, even though they are very different from yours. Thank you. Words are too limited to say what is in my heart right now. Know that you are a key player in so many of our lives to get us through.
Gail Watson at 11:32am EST - February 17, 2010
Michael, we like so many others continue to lift you in prayer. What you are going through now is the greatest testing. I have watched love ones go through this process too many times. The key is to fill that emptiness, is not with a person, but with God and His love for you as you are doing. When you get to the point of feeling secure again, that you no longer have a "need" for another human to fill that void, you will know you are healed. Then and only then will He provide the woman He has planned for you. Not a second before and not a minute after. I highly recommend that you study the steps of mourning, this will help you understand "where" you are at. Thank you Brother for sharing your struggles and keep drawing closer to Him. He WILL provide ALL that you need WHEN you need it. We will continue to lift you in prayer. God Bless ~
Bonnie at 11:48am EST - February 17, 2010
Michael ..I so appreciate you being able to put into words what you feel.In 1986 I went thru a painful divorce. Painful because it wasn't my wanting it.In Isaiah 54:5 For thy maker is thine husband...in Psams 23 when it says He restores my soul...He does..We remarried and have been married for 28 years the second time. God is the love that runs thru me. It will take time but you will be restored. Trust Him and He will do as his word says. He has loved us no other.I pray you will keep us posted. I will keep you in my prayers..
Veeda Carrigan at 11:53am EST - February 17, 2010
I believe you.. stick with it..
Lyn Sorensen at 11:55am EST - February 17, 2010
Michael, Thank you for the continued courage and insight which you share with all of us who continued to keep you and yours in our prayers.I know that through your tear-stained words and in your sharing, you speak for yourself along the many others who are unable to formulate the words, but none the less, feel the the unfathomable weight and pain of loss.The only solace with which we can go forward another day, is knowing that Our Lord and Saviour loves us unconditionally and continues to guide us through the trials of this life.Blessings to you.You remain in our prayers.
Bill Marks at 11:59am EST - February 17, 2010
I AM LOVE(D)......Michael YOU are being transformed daily....to become who the Holy Spirit has need of in this phase of your life and ministry......NOW let the JOY of the Lord be your STRENGTH. Amen Amen Amen
Elizabeth at 12:16pm EST - February 17, 2010
I read and have experienced the inevitable process that grief and bereavement include. Each person processes loss differently. There is no end to grief. There is the desire to complete the process, to end the pain; But it is the pain that is filled with love. Yes, the pain we experience is filled with love. The deeper the love; the deeper the pain. We are almost as captives to this wave of reality. It impacts the whole person, not only the mind, will and emotions. It will get better.
David Carter at 12:18pm EST - February 17, 2010
"The hardest thing I face is not the absence of her, but rather the absence of simply being or feeling loved to the core, as I truly was. The deepest of all human needs I suspect is the need to be and to feel deeply loved. The absence of that is the source of my greatest pain." This is where I am right now. Know this, your perspective and openness have already began something in me. "you are loved deeply" I just need to grab hold of that and start my healing. Thank you soooo much. Please keep being open and sharing, it is making a difference.
wayne harris at 12:37pm EST - February 17, 2010
I understand you very well, I'm in a very difficult and painful situation that i've ever imagine. God is going to help you and is beautiful to be part of our christian family.
Martha Dominguez at 12:48pm EST - February 17, 2010
I see the healing process of God in your life and know He is faithful to answer prayer and faithfulness; that you are continuing on as His disciple to trust Him through this surgery you are going through. It's good to know that He loves us and fulfills that love each and every day, even though sometimes we do not feel it, sense it, or understand it in it's fullness. You are an example to many and again, thanks for sharing your life's journey with us. We are not strangers, but all parts of the same body...the precious Body of Christ and we are all connected together by the precious Holy Spirit. God bless you Mouthpiece! You are loved by His Body! Leisa Coburn
Leisa Coburn at 1:12pm EST - February 17, 2010
Thank you for your transparency and your post today, Michael. It was truly inspiring! I really doubt God's love for his children can be fully comprehended until we reach heaven. But we do know He is love, and He loves us!
Glen Miller at 2:11pm EST - February 17, 2010
Michael,I remember at NPIM you talked about how Brenda was teaching you that God LOVES you. You said because of her, you are experiencing God is a deeper way. She was pushing you to believe a new level of His love for you....perhaps it was in preparation of the season that you are in today.Blessings ~ Crystal
Crystal Langdon at 2:24pm EST - February 17, 2010
Thank you....your walk and your honesty is amazing....and such a truth that speaks to the soul. I am walking in healing of a different kind and you cannot imagine how the image of "the love in HIS eyes" holding you to the table spoke to me. Thank you and God Bless you and your journeyLea
Lea Minton at 2:25pm EST - February 17, 2010
Thank you for sharing. I have been going through a grieving process over the the breakup of a girlfriend, who I cared about deeply. It's not at the level of losing a wife, but it's still been a process requiring the healing of a brocken heart. Your words are like Words from Heaven. It speaks directly to my situation. I've never gone through as much as an emotional process as I'm going through now and the words you have spoken have been like a balm of gilead to me and encoureges me that I will see 'the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living..." Thank you and my prayers are with you...
Micah at 3:10pm EST - February 17, 2010
Michael I think your life and ministry are going to be catuplted to another level completely. I thank God for your sharing the process of your emotional healing and closeness of Jesus to you through it all. As mentioned, it has helped me immensely. "He waters others will be watered..." The scripture that came to mind is:"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds..." John 12:24God is going to take this 'kernel of wheat' that fell to the ground and produce 'many seeds' for His kingdom. He truly does work out all things for the good of those who love Him and are called to His purpose.God loves you, brother, and so do I...
Micah at 3:15pm EST - February 17, 2010
I can already see the light over the horizon!
Jennifer Lefaver at 3:55pm EST - February 17, 2010
Mike, I'm honored by your transparency. Thanks for all you share. I lost my father in 2003 and I know the pain you feel and the way our Father comes through for us when we drag our grieving before him instead of hiding it away in our hearts. You are brave to stick with it.I agree that not having that deep heart connectedness is a huge pain. I've never been married so I don't know what it's like to have it ripped from me. I can only imagine based on the feelings I have about loosing my dad and the ache I have for the deep connection with a women. Like you I have my times of wiriness when I yearn to be loved by a partner, even though I've never experienced it. And isn't it awesome the way God comes through and supplies all we need when we are faithful to experience it with Him. God bless, and we are all pulling for you.
Andy Bunch at 4:07pm EST - February 17, 2010
Thank you your are a much appreciated friend.
Beuhla at 4:44pm EST - February 17, 2010
Dear Michael,God is Great, and greatly to be praised. There is relief on the way - I know you believe that. I have heard some amazing testimonies over the years about how people have allowed God to heal their wounded souls. I feel I must share at least one with you. I am familiar with lady who is a refugee from Vietnam. She is the only survivor of her family, who were slaughtered by the communists. She found such an amazing strength in Christ, that she has actually gone back, and witnessed and won to Christ some of those who committed the murders of her family. In some ways you are blessed to not have to deal with the anger and thoughts of vengeance at a person who murdered your loved one. However, I am sure, that the fleshly desire to shake your fist at the 'thing' that did take her is no less heart felt. All I really have to offer you, besides encouragement that better things are indeed coming is my prayers, and agreement in the Lord with you that all your needs will be met in the fight against the flesh, and the powers and principalities, which are seeking to keep you from growing in the Lord.
Stephen Brummitt at 4:46pm EST - February 17, 2010
Sometimes we sing this song here in OZ - 'God is good, all the time, through the darkest hour His Light will shine, God is good, God is good, all the time'.......' tHOUGH i MAY NOT UNDERSTAND, ALL THE PLANS HE HAS FOR ME, MY LIFE IS IN HIS HANDS, AND THROUGH THE EYES OF FAITH I CAN CLEARLY SEE.....GOD IS GOOD...............ALL THE TIME!!Thankyou for sharing your walk and faith Michael. More precious than gold.
Marita at 5:02pm EST - February 17, 2010
Powerful post, powerful video. I will rise up. Reinvent. That word totally agrees with my spirit. God is building us and we will indeed arise. So be it.
Beverly Lewis at 5:04pm EST - February 17, 2010
God bless you so much Michael. When I read your words, it sounded so familiar. Even when things look so unfamiliar, falling into trust, letting go, yet holding onto and focusing on Christ, all at the same time. He is so complete. His peace, HIs love, His ability to stick closer than a brother, His comfort, His salvation, His protection, His hovering over us, and somehow, we don't feel lost, alone, or forsaken anymore. I am not sure if that is how you feel, but that is what I felt when I read your post, when I remembered some similar times. Thank you for sharing your heart and His.
Cindy at 6:43pm EST - February 17, 2010
I wondered when this raw pain would hit you. I didn't want it to but I knew it would. I remember the joy, the peace, the hiding place where I was so sheltered nothing could touch me. I remember sitting at my computer typing and so excited, so joy filled I couldn't sit still.Then something blind sided me and and the anguish came. The one person in my life, that beautiful, blue eyed blonde with his perpetual tan....was gone.Now just one toothbrush...you know what I mean?
JL at 6:53pm EST - February 17, 2010
I remember last summer when the Lord wanted to do a "deeper healing work" in me, from years of past abuse in my life. It was "inconvenient". The Lord didn't seem to care that I was on my way to work when the tears began to flow uncontrollably. I would have to turn around and head back home for the day, to spend with Him. It was a rough 6 months, but I (finally) chose to submit and allow Him to do the work WHEN and HOW He wanted to, and the healing process set me free! I know that the Lord is no respecter of persons and He will do the same wonderful work in you. Be blessed! You are in my prayers.
Beth at 10:13pm EST - February 17, 2010
father in Jesus name, I ask you that you will help Micheal that the pain will not overwhelm him. Deaths sting will not mark him , but like the hebrew boys he will come fort with out the smell of smole. Fthar as you helped Terry law to praise help him by the comfort of the Holy spirit to praise . give him songs in the night to sing not from his soul but from his spirit. father in Jesus name he carried this grief LOrd as he is carray this cross I ask you to kindly carry him and nurture him . pour the heal balm on the wound . Rurn evil into good. father in me i cannot touch him but you are there soothe him Jesus as a husband soothes a bride because he is your bride -your church, hush him as a mother hushes a child he is your child father . Soor not to overwhelm him . father songs of deliverance , aid to sing them - release the endorphins of the body in linr with the praise. Lpord you have comforted so many I know you will comfort him with your presene in Jesus name amen
sandra at 2:08am EST - February 18, 2010
Thankyou Micheal for shareing your loss, your pain and your healing process. The Lord has used your gift of wisdom and use of words to bless me so many times. Today was no different, recently I`ve been feeling so lonely that I had come to a place where I could almost compare it with the lonelyness of a child in a childs home in some foreign country.This has been so confusing because I know the Lord loves me and I Him, but you talk about missing being loved to the core. This has really rocket my boat reveiling how I have satt limits for the Love of God to enter my life after being devistated by divorce several years ago.Thanyou for your transparancy and your faith. May the Lord bless you and continue to strengthen you. I continue to pray for you and your journey. Veronica.
Veronica Ryan at 6:00am EST - February 18, 2010
I am a widower from aug.2000 And yes still desire to have a God sent companion,Mean time I seek the face of God and Let love and mercy flow through me weekly,By Singing and sharing the word and song and prayer to Those that are behind bars,The Creek Co. Jail weekly. I find that about 3 am. Is a good time to focus on the Lord. I am blessed to be retired to full time seeking and serving God and others. www.rrjohnson.org
Richard Johnson at 6:23am EST - February 18, 2010
You know Michael, God has equipped you with all you need to fulfill his desires for you. You truly are a blessing in a pkg.The Bible says 'Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of God.." When we 'hear' your expressions of faith, pain and endurance, we are encouraged You have well spoken when you said " But God wants to heal my wounded soul and He invites my participation in the process", as every miracle taking place on our behalf requires an input on our part. After all, No-one can deny your TESTIMONY about God,s help. TRUTH that cannot be denied.
Hal Brown at 10:50am EST - February 18, 2010
My anesthesia has worn off, too. My beautiful, strong 12 yr. old son went to heaven 9 weeks, 3 days ago.Brain cancer ~ it went really fast. We are still out of breath.Melanie
Melanie Dorsey at 1:13pm EST - February 18, 2010
God is Love Michael,Praise Him even when it hurts.You are blessed to have experienced a marriage of love.I am 39 yrs never had love from parents and the longest relationship lasted only 3 years the happiest in my life but it ended. I ached like you described for 7 years and now i have learned to accept the surgery process of love by Love(Jesus) who is the giver of helpmates.Guess He wants us to be solely dependent on His love and affection first and hence such seasons in life.
Joyce/ Kenya at 5:01am EST - February 19, 2010
Dear Michael, This coming March my husband and I will be married 35 years. He was widowed in 1972 and I married him and his two girls a couple of years later. God's complete plan had always included this pain and healing, the weaving of trust and love, of the past with longing for the future. The tapestry is so beautiful now, even if not finished. We now have 4 children and already 7 grandkids - none of which are mine by "blood". But I cannot imagine my life without these treaures of mine. Remember the 'eth" of God? . . . It just keeps taking creative turns for our benefit. Enjoy the restoration and wait on Him for all that He has in store for you! And Treasure the Peace He has given you during the Wait . . .
Beth Goad at 6:06pm EST - February 22, 2010
God to Michael, My Grace is sufficient for you. Also read John Piper's book Don't waste your life.God bless and keep looking at the cross.Kern
Kern Pegues at 10:06am EST - February 28, 2010
God to Michael, My Grace is sufficient for you. Also read John Piper's book Don't waste your life.God bless and keep looking at the cross.Kern
Kern Pegues at 10:06am EST - February 28, 2010
God to Michael, My Grace is sufficient for you. Also read John Piper's book Don't waste your life.God bless and keep looking at the cross.Kern
Kern Pegues at 11:41am EST - February 28, 2010