Sympathy Can Sink You...

By Michael Q. Pink

Christmas Day began with some difficulty for me. At times I wondered if Brenda would make it through the day. She had labored hard through the night with her breathing. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t keep her eyes open. She couldn’t eat or drink. As I said on Brenda’s update, I had found the end of my rope and it was slippery. I wept openly, despite my best intentions otherwise.

I have been told that those are normal emotions, that I’m only human, that she is my wife and those feelings are to be expected. All of that is true, but I also have the divine nature living in me. Didn’t John tell us, Greater is He that is in us, than he that is in the world? Didn’t Paul tell us that the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in us?

I needed to come to terms with an uncomfortable truth… I didn’t trust God with Brenda! My stomach was in knots, my heart was tormented by fears and I was acting as though everything depended on me. What a foolish place to be! Imagine not being able to trust God! If you can’t trust God, who can you trust?!?!?! A doctor? A procedure? A medicine? Myself? God forbid that we substitute anything for trust in Him. Didn’t Paul tell us that whatever is not of faith is sin? Didn’t John tell us that fear has torment? Didn’t Jesus Himself promise to never leave nor forsake us? When are we going to truly believe?

So on Christmas Day, I recognized I was not trusting the only One who can make a difference. I took responsibility for my caving into fear and I repented. That is to say, I turned from fear towards God and rolled the care of my wife into His hands. With a little help, I came to the realization that if He doesn’t make her hungry, I cannot feed her. If He doesn’t wake her, I cannot encourage her. If He does not sustain her, nothing I can do, will.

I came to the place Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came to when faced with a life threatening dilemma. They said, “Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king.… But if not, be it known unto you, O king, that we will not serve your gods, nor worship the golden image which you have set up.” They were resolved to trust God even if the outcome was different from what they expected. That describes my new reality.

My battle shifted to finding and settling into a place of deep, inner peace, not to be mistaken for a “whatever will be, will be” attitude, but more along the lines of “I know Your character and I trust You to perform Your word. “ I stepped out of the way to let Him work. I stepped out of fear to let faith arise. I renounced fear at the core and gave the weight of this over to the Lord.

I don’t want sympathy. I don’t want what is normal. I want the extraordinary. I want a miracle. I want my wife back! Yes, I am only human, but that is all the more reason to give this over to God. The power of “only human” won’t win this battle! Yes, I am made of flesh and blood, but there’s more to me than that… I have the eternal Christ pulsing within and I am counting on His heartbeat to sustain and revive my wife. Yes, Brenda is my wife and our love runs deep so emotions are to be expected, but I refuse to be governed by emotions when they pull me away from what I believe to be God’s best.

I have put all my chips on God and His word. It is upon His love, His character, His Word that I stand. I can do no other. God help me. God help Brenda. Amen.